Oh what a cute little, uh . . .   African violet?

Whenever we mention people treating pets as children—whether it’s folks referring to puppies as “fur babies,” or bumper stickers that say “I love my granddog”—we ruffle a few feathers. Pets aren’t people.

Well, you green thumbs out there, get ready to write me, because I’m going to talk about “plant parents.”

That’s right. A recent New York Times piece starts out: “Have you considered becoming a plant parent? It’s much less work than parenting actual children or tending to pets, plus you get the benefit of adding vibrancy to your home and the pride that comes with each new bloom.”

Well, okay, children only sprout blooms if you don’t bathe them regularly, and it’s surely a whole lot easier to re-pot a plant than it is to actually nurture children and raise them up in the way they should go. But if vibrancy is what you’re after, take a child over a petunia every day of the week.

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