As if we needed another troubling social media trend, some are experimenting with “micro-cheating.” In one popular micro-cheating game, partners create hypothetical romantic or sexual situations and ask each other if certain actions (such as wearing another guy’s sweater or paying for a female coworker’s meal) should be considered “cheating.” 

Defenders of the game claim it helps partners communicate more clearly about relational expectations and boundaries. In practice, it reduces infidelity to intentions rather than actions. Arguing about where the line is between “cheating” and “not cheating” ignores the possibility that the “line” is itself the problem.  

It’s another version of the wrong question asked by millions of Christian teenagers through the years: “How far is too far?” That’s because fidelity is not a line: It’s a direction. Actions matter, of course, but as Jesus introduced to the world, so do motives, attitudes, and intentions.